


Why Can't We All Get Along?

by orphan_account



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Fluff, Historically Inaccurate, Lams - Freeform, M/M, No Sex, No major death, The original character dies, after Alex's "death", alex is dead, because I like him, but I still consider him as young, but Laf is threatened, but not really, like seriously inaccurate, non-binary Lafayette, now I see why tags are so weird, tbh she was a dick, timeline is probably screwy too, what am I doing with my life, with a baguette
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-23
Updated: 2016-09-17
Packaged: 2018-07-16 21:21:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 11,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7285198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex likes John. John likes Alex. Neither one knows that the other likes him back. Lafayette, ever the matchmaker, tries to get them together while keeping his promise not to tell. And Thomas Jefferson finds out and threatens to destroy Alex's and John's friendship. Not to mention the OC who is such a jerk that I kill her off.</p><p>Warnings will be listed at beginning of chapters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing bad happens in this chapter. Except for Jefferson.

"No," John Laurens said. "Ham...Hamilton can't be dead. He can't."

Aaron Burr shrugged. "I'm sorry, John," he muttered. "It had to be done. He poisoned my career. I regret it, I do. It was just in the moment, I-"

"Fuck you," John hissed.

Aaron recoiled. "What?"

"I said fuck you. You killed my best friend over _politics_? Goddamn it, Aaron, you..." Tears brimmed his eyes and he choked out a sob. "Go away. Just go."

Aaron's phone buzzed. It was a text.

Hams: Tell him.  
Burr: u sure?  
Hams: Yes.

"John," Aaron said gently. "Alexander's alive. He... he's faking his death."

"I don't believe you," John said. "Why would he do that?"

Aaron texted back.

Burr: he doesnt believe me.  
Hams: Have him call me.

"Call his cell," Aaron said. Reluctantly, John took out his phone and dialed Alex's number on speaker. It picked up on the first ring.

"John? Hey, it's Alex." Laurens started crying again, this time with a smile on his face. "John? Buddy? Hey, you okay?"

John nodded, then realized that Alex couldn't see him over the phone. "Y-yes, I'm fine. You're really... not dead?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't tell anyone though. Well, except Laf and Herc. They should probably know."

 

Hams: Hey guys  
Herc: wtf arent you like dead??  
Hams: Yeah.  
JLaw: he's faking his death  
JLaw: it's a secret  
Burr: srsly guys dont open your stupid mouths k  
Baguette: why is Alex feigning death?  
JLaw: idk  
Herc: imma open the coffin at your funeral lol  
Hams: Please don't  
Baguette: k nice talking to you all but I must go. I am supposed to go to tj's place.  
Burr: who is tj?  
JLaw: i think it's jefferson?  
Hams: It stands for "The Jackass"  
Baguette: Thomas Jefferson  
Hams: So I was right.

 

"Okay, bye Marquis. See you." A few minutes after Lafayette left, Thomas Jefferson noticed that his friend left their phone on his couch. He looked at it. (17) text notifications from Hams. Which was fine..

...but Alexander Hamilton was dead. Right?

He looked at the texts. What a discovery... Great for blackmail. Smirking, Jefferson decided to pay his rival a visit. He wouldn't mind, after all... he's dead.

Knock. Knock.

No reply. Rolling his eyes, Jefferson took the key that Alexander always kept under the doormat and let himself in. He entered the bathroom, where Hamilton was just finishing brushing his teeth for bed.

"Ahem."

Alexander jumped. "What the hell?" He spun around and paled. "Thomas? Wh-what?"

"Marquis left his phone," Thomas sang. "And you look pretty lively to me. You know, for a dead guy."

Alex's cheeks reddened. "I..."

"You what? Seeing as you're right in front of me right now, alive and well, I don't think there are many excuses you can get away with."

"Uh... it's the apocalypse?"

"Uh-huh. Nice try." Jefferson took a step closer, forcing Alex up against the sink. "Unless you want the media to somehow find out about... this, I suggest you hear out my demands.," he reasoned.

Alexander sighed. "What do you want, Jefferson?"

"Tell your boyfriend to sign my bill."

"Laurens isn't my boyfriend."

"I never said it was him. You assuming such scandalous things only confirms my point."

"Well, he took my place when I died, making him and Burr my only friends in the House. And Burr already signed your stupid bill."

"True," Jefferson admitted, "but still. Boyfriend or not, though he totally is, get him to sign the bill."

"He is not my boyfriend!" Alexander protested. His face flushed, either from rage, embarrassment, love, or all three.

"Hamilton's in looooove," Jefferson sang. "Hammy and Laurens sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

"Shut. Up," Alex hissed, crimson-faced. "I'll tell him to sign the stupid bill, but I can't promise anything."

"All right. And I won't tell anyone your, ah, predicament. Yet."

"'Yet'?"

"Yes, yet. And keep me notified. Bye now."


	2. Chapter 2

"What's wrong?" Aaron asked as he entered the apartment.

"Jefferson," Alex muttered, glaring at the wall. "He found out. He's blackmailing me."

"I'm not surprised. That does sound like the guy we know and hate."

"He wants me to convince John to sign his bill."

Aaron snorted. "Well, that's not gonna happen.

"Then he accused me and John of secretly dating." Alex forced a bitter laugh. "Isn't that crazy?"

"I thought you said you liked Laurens."

"I do," Alex said, "as a friend."

"Suuuuuuure," Aaron said with a knowing grin.

 

Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette, or "Laf" for short, caught up with John in the hall. "Hi, lover boy," they said. "How are you?"

"Hi, Laf," John said. "I'm gooWAIT WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME."

"I said lover boy," Laf replied, making a kissy face. "Oh, come on, John, it is obvious that you have a crush. Who is the lucky girl?"

John didn't like lying to his friends, so he danced around the truth. "Laf, I do not have a crush on a girl," he said carefully.

"Oh. Okay," Laf said. After a moment's pause, they added: "Then, who is the lucky boy?"

John inwardly groaned. The Frenchman was smart. "Nobody," John said. "I don't like anybody."

"I see," Laf said. That means... You must be hopelessly in love! I knew it! You're such a hopeless romantic. Who? Who is he?"

"Oh my God, Laf," John said. "Fine, I'm in love. But I'm not telling who."

"Then I guess," Laf declared. "Is it Aaron Burr?"

John made a face. "Hell no."

"Is it me?"

"Over my dead body."

"I am both relieved and oddly hurt by that," Laf mused. "Ooh! I know! Is it Alexander Hamilton?"

John felt his cheeks burn. "No," he said unconvincingly.

Laf grinned. "Aww, it's Alex, isn't it. It makes perfect sense."

John shushed his friend, glaring a death stare. "If you tell him," John hissed, voice low, "I swear to God I will hunt you down and murder you with your own damn baguette."

Laf laughed. "Oh, John, you should tell him. He likes you too."

John choked out a bitter laugh. "Yeah, right," he said wistfully. "In case you haven't noticed, he has a wife."

"So do you," Laf pointed out.

"That's different," John protested. "I don't really love her. Not like I love Alex." He looked at the ground. "I just... I fucking love Alex, okay? Him liking me back seems too good to be true. But I'm afraid of what he'd think of me... He's my best friend. And I don't want to ruin that."

"I understand," Laf said.

"Thanks, Laf." John gave his friend a tight-lipped grin and left.

"I'm gonna tell Alex," Laf declared to the empty room. Then they chuckled amusedly to themself. "Cause of death," they murmured, "baguette."

 

"Bonjour, Alex," Laf sang as they entered the apartment.

Alex glanced up. "Hi, Laf. What's up?"

"The sky," the Frenchman said. "Also, I think you should tell John that you like him."

Alex recoiled. "Are you crazy?" he practically screamed. "Look, Laf, I appreciate your support. But you're being too supportive. I don't want to ruin the friendship me and John already have."

"Okay," Laf sighed. "But I really think he likes you."

"So long as you think it's a perfect match, you think everybody likes everybody."

"I do not," Laf protested. "Okay, I do."

"Uh-huh."

"Hey, what are you writing?" Laf asked. Alex's constant scribbles had become so common that Laf only noticed it now when a crumpled "mistake page" the man had ripped out hit them on the head.

Alex grunted a response. Laf picked up the paper that had bounced off their forehead, smoothed it out, and read it. "Adorable," they said when they had finished. Alex, bent over his paper, didn't realize what was being read. "Do you plan on giving it to him?"

"Huh?"

"The love note. Un-rhyming poem."

"What?" Alex's head snapped up. "Give me that!" He snatched the paper away, his face red.

"That is for John, no?" Laf asked.

"No."

Laf pointed. "It says dearest John here."

"That... That's a different John. A John you don't know. And I'm not writing this for myself. It's for a friend. A female friend. Who can't write well. Not me. Because I'm not a girl. And I can write. And I'm not a girl."

"The signature says, Yours forever, Alex."

Alex's cheeks burned even redder, if that was even possible. "It's short for Alexandra," he muttered.

Laf raised an eyebrow. "Alexandra Hamilton, maybe?"

Alex was actually quiet for a moment. "Go away, Laf," he blurted. "Just go away."

Hurt and amused, they did.

 

John stepped out of the shower, got dressed, and mostly (not really) dried his hair off. He sat on his bed, scrolling through the group chat, which was mostly just Hercules describing some of the "hotties" at the bar.

Absentmindedly, John reached for his sketchbook. He remembered he had finished it, and it was with his other completed books. He didn't feel like going all the way to the store for a new one.

Then he realized that Alex must have a ton of paper. Not sketch paper, obviously, but paper nonetheless. So John walked down two flights of stairs to his best friend's apartment. He knocked, but no one answered. Maybe he's asleep, John thought. It was, after all, twelve at night. He tested the door, and surprisingly, it swung open.

Alex was hunched over his desk, scribbling something. John opened his mouth to ask, but quickly found himself speechless. Alex's brows furrowed adorably, his eyes following his hand. The tip of his tongue stuck out the corner of his lips. His hair was pulled back in a ponytail. Every now and then he had to brush a stray lock out of his face and behind his ear.

Suddenly Alex leaned back, looking over his work. He muttered something, crumpled the paper, and threw it over his shoulder. He took out a fresh sheet.

"Alex?"

Alex jumped, startled. "Oh, hi, John," he said, quickly regaining his composure. "What do you need?"

John peered at his friend. Alex's face was red; then again it was pretty warm in his apartment. "I... I'm out of sketch paper," John said. "Can I borrow some of your paper?"

Alex stared wide-eyed at John. John looked around nervously. "Um, it's okay if you don't want to. I can run to the store..."

"What? No," Alex said, handing over a stack of paper. "I just, ah, lost my train of thought. Sorry."

"Oh," John said, hoping Alex didn't notice the blush on his face. "I...Thanks."

He felt Alex's eyes on him the whole time he left.

 

Just as he began to write again, Alex's phone buzzed.

Thomas: hello, alexander.

Alex set his phone back down.

Thomas: i said hello.

Alex rolled his eyes.

Thomas: alex.  
Thomas: alex i know you're there.  
Thomas: aaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnsssssssswwwwwweeeeeeerrrrrrr  
Thomas: PICK UP YOUR PHONE  
Thomas: NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Hams: Piss off, Jefferson.  
Thomas: yay you answered  
Hams: What do you want.  
Thomas: i'm bored  
Hams: Are you kidding me??  
Thomas: no.  
Hams: Go play with Madison  
Thomas: he's not here. remember?  
Hams: Then go play with John Adams.  
Hams: He doesn't have a real job anyway.  
Thomas: i don't wanna  
Hams: Oh my god you are such a baby.  
Hams: Go play with your baby toys.  
Thomas: don't have any. can i borrow yours?

Alex frowned. He had walked straight into that one.

Thomas: how's your precious john?  
Hams: Laurens is fine.  
Thomas: cool  
Thomas: i'm still bored.  
Hams: Play Angry Birds.

 

Alexander: Play Angry Birds.  
TJeff: no  
Alexander: Ugh, I don't know what to tell you! I'm busy!  
TJeff: fine. i'll go find marquis. i have his phone anyway.

Thomas shoved his phone into his back pocket. Cursing under his breath in French, he stormed out the door.

And literally ran into Lafayette.

"Those words are not nice, Thomas," they said.

Thomas scowled. "Do I look like I have time for 'nice'?"

Laf rolled their eyes. "When have you ever?" they said with a snort.

"True," Thomas admitted. "I was just coming for you. Found this on my coffee table." He took Laf's phone from his pocket.

"Oh, merci!" Laf cried, taking it. "Oui, I was looking for that. Alex and John didn't have it, and I wasn't at Herc's since I had my phone. So I came here."

"Oh," Thomas said, mock-offended. "I see. I'm only your fourth-best friend, then?"

Laf grinned. "More like my nineteenth."

Thomas chuckled. "Gee, thanks."

Laf scanned his phone. They narrowed their eyes. "Wait, Thomas. Were you reading my texts?" they asked. No reply. They looked up...

Thomas Jefferson was already halfway down the street, walking at an unreasonably fast pace.

 

(17) unread messages from Hams. Lafayette groaned as they pulled up the chat.

Hams: OMG LAF HELP ME  
Hams: This soooo isn't funny.  
Hams: Okay so John came over to borrow some paper  
Hams: Cuz I have a lot  
Hams: And he had just taken a shower  
Hams: His hair was wet and adorable  
Hams: I really wanted to braid it  
Hams: Or brush it  
Hams: Or just touch it  
Hams: Is that weird?  
Hams: I think it's weird  
Hams: WTF is wrong with me??  
Hams: Like I like John  
Hams: Like reeeeeealllly like him  
Hams: Help  
Hams: ...Laf?  
Hams: Are you ignoring me?

Lafayette cursed under their breath, the same words Jefferson had used. Even if it weren't for these texts, the conversation that came before was proof enough. One of the texts very clearly stated, I am so obsessed with John, it's not even funny. It was only a matter of time before this information was just as public as the Reynolds Pamphlet.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this is the chapter with the hurricane. I have never had a panic attack before so I took some liberty (meaning I have no clue how accurate this is). I have a warning right before the hurricane part though.
> 
> I also changed the layout style to make it easier to read.

John started freaking out in his room. He had just finished his sketch...

Usually he drew turtles. This wasn't a turtle. This was Alexander "Not-A-Turtle" Hamilton, the man he loved, doing what he loved most: writing. John had drawn Alex in the same pose he had seen when he got the paper, the pose that had taken his breath away.

This was becoming a serious issue. Usually John could control his crush. But then he couldn't. It's getting harder and harder every day. He needed help.

His first instinct was to go to his best friend for help.

Then he realized his best friend was the subject of the issue. So that was out of the question.

JLaw: hey laf help  
Baguette: what is the problem?  
Baguette: did you get stuck in the refrigerator again?  
Baguette: I keep telling you not to do that  
JLaw: that was like one time ok?? and no it's not that.  
Baguette: three times actually. but okay.  
JLaw: it's alex  
JLaw: you were right. i have a huge crush on him and it's out of control  
Baguette: I'd love to help you, mon amie, but I kind of have a bigger problem  
Baguette: named Thomas Jefferson

John sighed. He was really tired. He could face his problem tomorrow. How bad could it get?

 

Really bad.

John had forgotten that the next day was Alex's fake funeral. Alex was alive, he knew, but still. Seeing his coffin and all the black just tore John 's heart in two. And then the fact that they had to give a speech.

John had barely started his speech when he started to break down. Herc had to pull him into the bathrooms to talk to him, try to calm him down.

"Dude," he said. "You realize Alex is alive, right?"

"I know," John replied, embarrassed. "It still feels real. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, brah," Herc said. "It's okay to cry."

John had barely made it through the funeral. Every second he thought he was going to die. But he didn't. He told himself he'd be fine at the party afterwards, though.  
Because it was hosted in Alex's apartment, and Alex himself was there.

"Alex," John yelled, tackling his friend in a warm embrace. "Oh my god, I thought I was gonna die!"

Alex chuckled. "Was it that boring?" he asked.

John shook his head. "That heartbreaking," he corrected.

"Oh, Laurens, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Alex muttered.

John laughed. "You're here now, and that's all that matters," he said.

Alex smiled. "Did Hercules try to open my casket?" he asked, laughing when John shrugged.

"If he did, he didn't succeed."

Alex was about to respond when there was a tap on his shoulder. "Hey, Alex, I'm gonna get going," Elizabeth Schuyler said, smiling. "It's supposed to rain a little, and I don't wanna get caught in it." 

"Oh, rain?" Alex asked. He laughed. "Better curl up under my blanket."

For a long time he had been terrified of storms, due to an incident with a hurricane that occurred when he was seventeen. He had gotten a lot better though. Rain no longer bothered him, and thunder made him irritated, at most. Alex even joked about it now.

"I ought to get going, too," Hercules said. "Laf, you need a ride?" The Frenchman nodded.

One by one, Alex's friends trickled out of the apartment, leaving only John and Alex. John swiped his phone to check the time, and noticed an urgent weather alert. HURRICANE WARNING, it read. CATEGORY 1 HURRICANE TO HIT COAST AT AROUND 5:30-6:00 P.M.

John felt a knot form in his stomach. It didn't matter how much progress Alex made with storms. This was a real hurricane. At least the apartment was only on the edge of the storm.

He cast a glance at his friend, and immediately wished he hadn't. Alex had his phone out, too, and his face was masked with pure terror.

~~WARNING: PANIC ATTACK. Skip the rest of this chapter if you don't want to read it.~~

There wasn't a cloud in sight. But at 5:42 P.M., the heavens opened up and drenched the land. John was in the kitchen making popcorn when it happened. He rushed into the living room to find Alex wrapped up in six layers of blankets. "It's only rain, it's only rain," John heard him mutter. "It's only rain, it's only rain, it's only rOH MY GOD!"

A loud clap of thunder made Alex jump. John glanced at the window. The tree outside was bowing in the high winds. He heard Alex whimper, and so he turned his attention back to his friend. "Alex..." he said, his concern apparent.

"I'm okay," Alex said. The words were forced, though. When his attacks began, he stopped using eloquent words. As his condition worsened, he'd stop talking altogether.

"No, Alex, you're not okay. I'm going to get the popcorn and then I'm not leaving your side." John ran out before Alex could protest. He snatched the popcorn off the counter and flew back to the couch. John jumped onto the cushion next to Alex, offering the bowl.

"No thanks," Alex declined, pushing the bowl away. "Not hungry."

John raised an eyebrow. "Well, when did you last eat?"

Alex scrunched up his face, thinking. "Uh. Yesterday." There was another clap of thunder. Alex whimpered and clutched at John's shirt, trembling. John held him tightly.

The storm worsened. The tree outside looked like it could be uprooted at any minute. Alex whimpered again and buried his face in John's chest. 

"John," he said in a small voice. "Scared."

"I know, Alex, I know," John replied soothingly, rubbing his crush's back gently. "You're okay. Nothing's gonna get you, I promise."

"Promise?" Alex asked, seeming to relax a little.

"Yes, I promise." Lightning illuminated the room. Alex looked up, out the window, and squealed. John looked back and saw that the tree was no longer upright, but on its side in the grass.

John swallowed. This was going to be a long night.

 

Water. Everywhere. Outside. Separated by glass. Was that enough? What if the rain broke it? Then water would flood the apartment. And John would drown, but Alex wouldn't. Because life was cruel like that. He was grateful to have such a caring friend by his side, but not at the expense of his life.

John had to leave. Now. Before the water took him. "John," Alex managed.

"Yes," John asked. It seemed he wanted to say more, but he didn't.

"You... go."

John shook his head. Some hair fell in his face. "No, Alex," he said firmly. "I'm not leaving."

Alex heard glass break. He looked up. The window had cracked, and water was trickling in at an alarming rate. It was up to his ankles.

His waist.

His chest.

"John" he said weakly. If John didn't leave, he would drown. But Alex couldn't speak. The water was up to John's chin, past Alex's head. The water constricted Alex's throat. He couldn't breathe.

Air. He needed air. Where was the air?

"Alex," John's voice said. "Alex, quit thrashing. You're okay. It's gonna be okay."

 

John stared at Alex. He looked panicked. His eyes pleaded with the taller boy. "Alex. Calm down," John said. "Alex? Alex, you're sweating. Alex! Can you hear me?"

In response, Alex pushed and broke free of John's grip. He fell to the floor with a thud. John reached for him, to pick him up, but Alex shook his head wildly. John sighed.

"What's the matter?" he asked.

Alex clamped his mouth shut and just stared at John. John thought back to the last time Alex had a panic attack. After it had passed, Alex had said that he started imagining things, like water leaking and flooding the room...

...oh. John had an idea.

 

Alex wanted to answer. Wanted to tell John to go. Get out. Leave. Casse toi. But he didn't. He kept his mouth shut, because if he opened his mouth, water would enter.

"Alex, did the window break?" John asked. Alex stared back. No duh. He nodded slowly. Open your goddamn eyes, John.

"Is water coming in?" Obviously. He nodded again. "Okay, Alex. Listen to me. You're imagining things." What? No, John was imagining things. There was water. Water.

Air. Alex needed air. Bad. His lungs told him to breathe. But Alex refused. Alex didn't want to die. Air. Water. Lungs. Help. Drown.

"Alexander, listen. You are imagining things. We are on the fourth floor. This is a hurricane."

Alex flinched at the word. That word was a dangerous word.

"It's a hurricane, Alex," John continued. "Not a tsunami."

But in that one hurricane, the destructive one, people died. They drowned. They...

"This is only Category One," John said. "Light rains. Please. Alex. Breathe. Can you breathe with me? In. Out. In. Come on."

Alex looked at John. Common sense slowly flooded his mind as he watched tears roll down John's cheek. Tears. You can't visibly cry underwater.

The water slowly disappeared. Alex looked at the window. It wasn't broken. He took a deep breath with John on "in" and let it out on "out". He could breathe. He needed air, but he had it all along. "J...John," Alex said quietly, voice quivering.

 

John snapped his head toward Alex. "What was that?" he asked.

"John," Alex repeated, stronger and louder. "John. The water. Gone. You. Need you."

John smiled and picked his friend up. He sat him on the couch, then sat next to him. "You're okay," John told Alex.

"I know."

"You're safe."

"I know."

"I love you."

"I... what?"

Shit. Did John really just say that? "I mean, you're my best friend," he said. "I really care about you." He looked away, blushing.

"Oh," Alex said. If John had been looking, he would've seen his friend's face fall with disappointment. "Yeah, I care about you too. A lot," he added, hoping John got the hint.

He didn't. Or at least, Alex didn't think he did.

Alex sighed and checked the Hurricane Tracker app, which he had installed for... reasons. According to it, the hurricane had almost passed. "You okay?" John asked. Alex looked up from his phone.

"Yeah. The rain... It's not even that bad. I guess it was just the fact that it was an actual hurricane that got me. It made my imagination go wild. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be that way. I didn't want you to see me like that..." He trailed off, sighing.

John looked at his friend. "Oh, Alex. You know I'm always here for you. I would've stayed with you for as long as you needed me. You know why? Because I lo-" John winced. He almost said 'I love you.' "Because I care about you. You're worth it," he corrected himself.

 

Alex knew (well, thought he knew) that John didn't mean those words in a lovey kind of way.

But he pretended they were anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fic, so I'm really grateful for the support I've gotten from my friend (she doesn't have an account here, but on fanfiction.net she's TheyWillBeLegends). I would also like to thank spadesoface for their support, it makes me smile. :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Either Jefferson is being uncharacteristically nice, or he's being an asshole. I can't tell.

"Hello, Alexander," an all-too-familiar voice said. Alex looked up from his desk.

"Good morning, Thomas," he said cheerily. "What can I do for ya?"

This wasn't the reaction Thomas was expecting. "Um... excuse me?"

"I said, what can I do for you?"

Thomas' eyes darted around the office nervously. "Why are you talking to me like that?" he asked suspiciously. "What's going on?"

Alex placed his pen on the desk, turning in his chair. "Come again?" he chuckled. "I didn't quite get that."

Thomas began backing away nervously. "I don't... You're scaring me." Alex frowned apologetically. "I'm gonna go," Thomas added quickly before dashing out of the room.

Alex shrugged and turned back to his desk.

 

"Come in," the President of the United States said. Thomas entered the room. "Good morning, Mr Jefferson," George Washington greeted, barely glancing up.

"Good morning, sir."

"You sound disoriented," Washington observed. He looked up, paying full attention to the Secretary of State. "Do you need help with something?"

"Yes, actually," Thomas admitted. "I went to Hamilton's office to, uh, discuss some things. And he was unnaturally happy."

"I see." Washington frowned. "The two of you aren't exactly known for getting along, do you think perhaps he was trying to piss you off?"

Thomas shook his head. "He was genuinely happy. It made me kind of worried for him."

"You? Worried for Hamilton?" Washington chuckled at the idea. "You must be pulling my leg." He realized that Thomas was actually serious, and sighed. "Alright," he said. "If it makes you feel better, I'll talk to him."

Thomas nodded. "Yes. Thank you, sir. I can't properly yell at- I mean debate with- Hamilton if he's not being annoying." With that, he turned and exited the room.

 

"Hamilton?" Washington asked, knocking on the door of the office. "Son, are you in there?"

"Don't call me son," came the muffled reply.

"May I come in?" Washington asked. He opened the door before Hamilton could even reply. "Good morning, Alexander."

"Morning, sir," Hamilton chirped. Washington raised an eyebrow. Okay then.

"Jefferson came to my office."

"I assure you," Hamilton sang, "whatever that douchebag told you about me isn't true."

"He told me you were oddly cheerful today," Washington explained. "And please refrain from speaking ill of your coworkers in the workplace."

"Oh," Hamilton said. "I guess for once he was right. Yes, I do feel upbeat today."

"May I ask why?"

Hamilton smiled, acquiring a twinkle in his eyes. "I spent the night with my crush, whom I've liked for a while now," he said. Washington stared, and Hamilton realized what he said. "Not like that," he added quickly. "He was... the storm..."

Washington laughed. "Ah," he said. "I'm curious. Who do you like?"

Hamilton frowned for the first time in that particular meeting. "I... I'm not sure you'd approve, sir," he muttered.

Washington chuckled. "If this is about your sexuality, I believe I already know," he confided. Hamilton blushed.

"Wh...what?"

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to embarrass you... If you're not comfortable..."

"No, no," Hamilton said quickly. "I was just... taken aback, is all. You can say it, I don't mind."

Washington eyed Hamilton carefully once more to ensure he was really okay. "If I'm not wrong, you're bisexual."

Hamilton blushed. "Yes, actually. How'd you know?"

Washington laughed. "I see the way you look at Laurens," he winked.

Hamilton smiled sheepishly. "Heh. Then I guess you know who I like," he said.

"I guess I do. But, son-"

"I'm not your son."

"-what do you want me to tell Jefferson?"

Hamilton thought for a moment. "Ah, tell 'im the truth," he said finally. "He knows anyway."

To say that Washington was taken aback by this was an understatement. He was shocked. "Okay," he shrugged. It wasn't his place to meddle in anyone's affairs. At least, not in this case.

 

A knock on the door startled Thomas. He jumped, causing the pen to draw a line across his argument against Hamilton's latest bill. He jumped up, muttering French curses under his breath. He opened the door and came face to face with the President of the United States.

"Sir!" Thomas exclaimed. "Can I do anything for you?"

Washington smiled faintly. "I came to tell you the reason Secretary Hamilton has been so... the way he is."

Thomas snorted. "You mean you can explain his cockiness?" He laughed. Washington stared disapprovingly. "Sorry, sir."

Washington muttered something about feuds. "It's alright, Jefferson," he said. "Anyway. He's just happy because he has a crush."

Jefferson wrinkled his nose. "I thought he got past Elizabeth," he said. He knew full well that the other man meant Laurens, but he promised he wouldn't tell anyone (yet). And he intended to keep that promise - until he had a use for it, that is.

Washington looked down. "It's... somebody else."

"I know who it is," Jefferson informed him. "I just promised not to tell, is all."

Washington looked up, amused. "And you're keeping that promise?" he asked incredulously.

Jefferson nodded. "For now."

"For now," Washington repeated. "Why can't my cabinet just get along?"

Thomas sulked back to his desk, taking out a fresh piece of paper. "Because we hate each other," he said matter-of-factly. Washington started to reply, then shook his head and sighed. He exited the office, muttering to himself.

 

"How's your boyfriend?" Thomas asked, entering his rival's office.

Hamilton didn't even look up. "Ever heard of knocking?" he asked, slightly annoyed but no less cheery.

Thomas shook his head. "Nope." He pulled a dining chair from Hamilton's table and sat beside him. "Whatcha writing?"

Hamilton used his arm to block Thomas' sight. "None of your business."

Thomas laughed. "If it's an essay or argument, it kind of is my business," he remarked. He was able to pry Hamilton's arm away from the paper and snatch it. He glanced over it, then burst out laughing. "Oh my god," he said. "A love letter to Laurens? Really?"

Hamilton blushed and tried to take the paper, but Thomas held it out of his reach. "'Dearest Laurens,'" he read in an overly fancy voice. "'We have known each other for a long time, and I have a confession to make.'" Thomas glanced at the furious Hamilton. "Aw, man, this is rich," he said in a normal voice. He continued: "'I always have the words. I know what to say in any situation, except one.

"'When I am with you, I am rendered speechless. You take my breath away with the simplest of hellos, the smallest of looks. This is why I am writing you this letter rather than telling you myself. I have tried to say, on many occasions, three simple words, but I simply cannot. I say your name, you look at me expectantly, and I cannot speak. My throat closes, my brain won't work. So let me tell you, on this paper, the words I have so longed to say:

"'John Laurens, you are the light of my life. I love you with all my heart. You are more than simply my best friend. Never have I loved anyone so much, even my dear Eliza. I understand how unlikely it is that you share my feelings, but I thought you deserved to know. I hope that this does not change the friendship we have built over the years, as I value your companionship more than you will ever know.

"'Your best friend, Alexander Hamilton.'" Thomas looked up at Hamilton, who refused to meet the other's eyes. "Good lord, Alexander," he said. "That was... that was really something." He handed the paper back. "You gonna give it to him?"

Hamilton shook his head. "No," he said quietly.

Thomas raised an eyebrow. "No?"

"No," Hamilton repeated. "It's not good enough."

Thomas rolled his eyes. "Nothing's ever good enough for you." He took the paper back, earning a loud cry of protest. "If you won't give it to him, I will."

Hamilton's eyes widened in horror. "No! You can't!" he cried, trying but failing to retrieve the letter.

Thomas laughed. "Catch me if you can," he teased, rushing out of the office. Hamilton retreated to the window, watching his enemy drive off in his car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm homeschooled, and I took all of December off. As a result, I still have two weeks of school left. So I might not be able to update as much but I am trying my best.
> 
> I would like to thank spadesoface again. The last person who was this supportive was my little brother. And it was because he wanted quarters for one of those crank-machines.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've probably changed the gang's texting styles, idk. Whatever.

John was on the couch in sweatpants and a white tank top watching Netflix when the doorbell rang. He must've left something at Alex's last night, and his friend was there to return it. "Coming," he grunted, pausing the movie.

Thomas Jefferson waited outside the door, grinning. "Hello, Laurens."

"Ugh, it's you," John said. "Why are you here? What's so important that you interrupted my Star Wars time?"

"I see I'm not going to get a warm welcome," Jefferson frowned. "Star Trek is better, anyway." He pushed past the other man into the apartment, picked up the remote, and shut off the television.

"Hey!" John cried. "I was watching that."

"Not anymore, you're not." Jefferson sat on the couch and pulled out a rolled-up piece of parchment. "This is more important."

"If this is a waste of time, I'm gonna fucking kill you."

Jefferson chuckled. "You'll have to decide whether it's a waste of time or not. And if it is, it's Hamilton you want to kill, not me." He stood up. "Don't kill the messenger."

Placing the paper in John's hands, Jefferson gave one more cocky grin before leaving. John glared daggers at him until he was out the door, then unrolled the paper. He immediately brightened; it was from Alex. He read it silently to himself: 'Dearest Laurens...'

 

Alex felt like he could die. His rival just took and delivered the letter he'd written, proclaiming his love to his best friend. Alex had read enough books to know that crushes on friends, especially same-sex friends, almost never ended well.

Hams: Help.  
Baguette: what do you need, mon cher?  
Hams: I wrote a love letter to John, and decided I didn't want to send it after all.  
Hams: But then fucking Jefferson came in and said he'd deliver it for me.  
Hams: I don't know how John will react!!! D:  
Herc: hey genius look at the chat name XD

Alex looked at the top. Group Chat. Shit.

Hams: Oh my god.  
JLaw: I was wondering if your letter was real  
JLaw: or if jefferson was just messing with me  
Herc: hey hams, ya there?  
Hams: ...i'm here.  
JLaw: let's talk in private. away from prying eyes.  
JLaw: (cough herc and laf cough)  
Herc: what? no!  
Baguette: non, dis moi tout!  
Herc: aw cmon  
Baguette: s'il vous plaît?

JLaw: alexander?  
Hams: John, I am so sorry. I didn't mean what I said in the letter.  
JLaw: ...you didn't?  
Hams: No  
JLaw: oh  
JLaw: cuz i really liked it  
JLaw: i thought it was sweet

 

Hams: You did? You liked it?

John paused. What if this was Jefferson fucking with him? It'd happened before. John would have to be super careful. After all, he had no proof the letter was really from Alexander Hamilton. Plus, Alex liking him back seemed too good to be true. He decided against professing his love.

JLaw: yes. i loved it.  
Hams: I'm glad. :)

John got off his phone. Even if it was Alex who wrote the letter, isn't it possible he just meant love as a friend? It didn't sound so, then again Alex wasn't the best at being blunt. Oh well. 'Cheer up, John. There are plenty of fish in in the sea,' John told himself. He sighed.

True, but only one of those fish was Alexander Hamilton.

 

Alex stared at his phone screen in dismay. So John got the letter. But did he understand what it said? God, why couldn't Alex write a simple 'I love you' on the page? Why did he have to be so... so... so vague? Alex sighed in defeat. Would he ever know how his best friend felt toward him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic has gotten way more support than I expected, thank you guys so much!!! :D


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Great. An OC. *painful smile that turns into a grimace*

When Aaron Burr was bored, he took a walk. Everything outside was inspirational in its own way. The birds, the people, the cars, the grass, even the air. Ah, the air. Aaron took a deep breath.

He glanced into the window of the Starbucks he was passing. Two women he didn't know were seated there, laughing and talking. The lady on the left was hot. He'd definitely be interested if, you know, he didn't already have a wife.

Aaron entered the shop, the bells on the door tingling as he stepped in. "-Hamilton," the woman on the right said. Aaron perked up.

"Excuse me, misses," he said, walking up to them. "So sorry to interrupt, but did I just hear you say Hamilton? As in, Alexander Hamilton?"

The woman on the left (the cute one) responded, "As a matter of fact, yes. Who might you be?"

"Aaron Burr," Aaron replied, taking the lady's hand in his own and bringing it to his lips. He turned to the other to do the same, but she shook her head.

"No, thank you," she said respectfully. "I have a girlfriend."

Aaron raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

The lady nodded. "Yes. She's told me a bit about you... I'm Maria Reynolds."

"Ah, Maria," Aaron nodded. "Yes, I've heard about you before." He turned to the other woman. "And you are...?"

"Katherine," she said. "I'm married."

"So am I."

"Katherine's my friend from-" Maria began, but Katherine cut her off.

"No, Maria, please," she begged. But Aaron had already caught on.

"From Britain?" he asked. Katherine looked away. "Hey, hey, it's okay," Aaron reassured. "I'm a trust fund, baby. You can trust me."

Katherine smiled despite herself. Maria rolled her eyes. "His wife was originally married to a British officer," she explained to her friend.

"Oh shit." Katherine looked at Aaron quizzically. "You married a woman who was already married?" she asked.

"Well, no," Aaron said. "Her husband died in the war. I admit I started seeing her sooner, but I didn't get engaged to her until after her husband had passed."

Katherine nodded. "Oh." She turned back to Maria. "What were you saying earlier?"

Maria had to think for a minute. "Umm... Oh yeah! Alexander wrote the other fifty-one."

Katherine stared. "Wow," she said, impressed. "Where is he now?"

"He died," Aaron jumped in.

Katherine snorted. "Don't sound so excited."

Maria smiled. "Yes, well, Kathy, Burr's the one who shot him."

"You what?"

"I challenged him to a duel," Aaron explained. "I wish I hadn't, but I can't change the past."

"I'm sorry," Katherine said, squeezing his hand sympathetically. "Is Hamilton the one who lost his son in a duel?" Aaron nodded. "That must be so hard," Katherine reasoned. "It must be so hard on his wife."

Aaron and Maria shared a knowing look. "Right," Maria said, "his wife."

 

FLASHBACK.

"Elizabeth Schuyler," Eliza smiled. She outstretched her hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

Alex took her hand and kissed it. "Schuyler?"

"My sister," Angelica chimed in from beside him.

"Thank you for your service," Eliza said.

"If it takes a war for us to meet, then it will have been worth it."

"I'll leave you to it," Angelica sang before leaving.

Eliza sighed. "I'm sorry about this," she said, "but everyone is expecting me to marry some rich or famous man, but the truth is..." She lowered her voice, embarrassed. "I'm not into men."

Alex smiled. "I am," he said.

Eliza brightened. "Can I ask you for a favor? One gay to another?"

"Bi," Alex corrected with a laugh. "Of course."

"Could you pretend to be my boyfriend? Just until I'm comfortable enough to come out to my father?"

Alex nodded. "I don't see why not."

"My sisters already know," Eliza confessed. "Angie just tries to help me." Alex laughed. "I actually have a girlfriend. I'm dating her secretly, of course. Her name is Maria."

"I can't wait to meet her," Alex said.

Angelica came back. "Well?" she asked Eliza.

"He's bi," the middle sister said. "He said yes."

 

PRESENT.

"What are you two staring at each other for?" Katherine laughed nervously.

Aaron and Maria broke the gaze they had held. "Nothing," Aaron said, forcing a laugh. He turned. "I should, uh, get going. Nice meeting you, Katherine. And you, Maria."

"Bye, Aaron," Maria waved. "I'm sure I'll see you again." She watched him go, then turned to her best friend.

"What was that about?" Kathy asked.

Maria sighed. She hated lying to the woman she'd known since they were young, so... "Can you keep a secret?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like Katherine. But she is vital to the story. I promise this is the longest chapter she is in. She's in one other scene but that's it. I needed a character that won't be missed. And it took me way longer than it should have to name her. I almost named her Wylde but I realized that's not a common 18/19 century name.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's short but. It's a super important scene, so it kinda has to be alone.
> 
> Translation: c'est évident ~ it's obvious

John: how do I ask him out?  
Laf: you say "will you go out with me"  
John: that's not helpful

Lafayette rolled their eyes. How could John be so oblivious? It was obvious Alexander loved him. Why could John not see that?

Laf: tell him you love him  
John: but what if he doesn't love me

Jesus Christ. Love really is blind.

Laf: he does!  
Laf: !!!  
John: how can you tell

Lafayette was kind of irritated by this now.

Laf: HE SENT YOU A LETTER CONFESSING HIS LOVE  
Laf: THAT, MON CHER, IS WHAT IS CALLED A RED FLAG  
John: no jefferson gave it to me  
Laf: BUT IT WAS FROM ALEXANDER  
John: or jefferson  
Laf: or Alexander  
John: but he mentioned his relationship with Liz  
John: he had a FAKE relationship with Liz  
Laf: maybe he was afraid someone would intercept the message  
Laf: like tj  
John: or maybe jefferson wrote it and he's messing with me

Lafayette huffed. Were all gays this oblivious?

John: fine I'll take your stupid advice  
John: happy?  
Laf: oui  
Laf: trust me he likes you  
Laf: c'est évident

 

John walked to Alex's place, his stomach doing flip-flops the entire way. His heart pounded in his chest, beating faster with every step. After what seemed like an eternity, he arrived at his destination. He knocked, half-hoping Alex wasn't at home. Maybe he was at Giant or Walmart. He went shopping on Wednesdays, right? Or was it on Thursdays?

Wait... what day of the week was it, anyway?

Alex opened the door, brightening at the sight of his friend. "Hi, John! What's up?" He opened the door wider, inviting the man in. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine," John replied, choking out a laugh. Alex looked doubtful, but dropped the topic. "I, uh... I wanted to talk to you. About your letter."

Alex paled. "Oh... John, I-" He stopped as the other looked at him with a mixture of hope and sadness in his face.

John took a deep breath. "You say you don't mean any of it," he began, "and I want to know if that was true."

Alex seemed to hesitate.

"I don't know if what you say is true, Alex, but goddamnit, I hope it is. I can give you a letter saying the same thing and mean every bit of it." He tried to read his friend's face, but couldn't. John made a mental note to murder Laf if this didn't work. "I love you, Alexander Hamilton."

John crossed his fingers and waited the longest ten seconds of his life.

His heart leapt as Alex said the words John had longed to hear for so long:

"John Laurens, _I love you too."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really appreciate the support from all of you, especially from spadesoface and Huffleclaw_Hamilfan. Thank you so much!!!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am seriously busy so I don't have a lot of time to post. But I promise I am trying! Katherine's real intentions are revealed.

A few weeks later...

The gang (and Aaron) sat on the couch in John's apartment, watching reruns of Family Guy. Then Eliza walked in with her sisters and Maria, looking grim. She turned the television off, and was met with a bunch of protests.

"I knew I shouldn't have given you a key," John grumbled.

"This is important," Eliza insisted. "Maria, love, why don't you tell them."

"But-"

"It wasn't a question." Eliza pulled her girlfriend in front of her and whispered something in her ear.

"Fine," Maria muttered. "You all know Katherine?"

"No," everyone except Aaron said. Everyone turned to see where the lone "yes" had come from. Aaron tried, and failed, to sink down in his seat.

"Well, she's my best friend. Was. Was my best friend..." Maria trailed off.

"Why? What happened?" Alex asked.

Maria started crying. "I'm so so sorry," she said. Eliza went over and hugged her. "She..."

"Just check Buzzfeed," Eliza said quietly. "Or any news source, really." To Maria, she said, "Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made you tell them, it's not your fault."

"It is though," Maria argued.

Alex glanced at his phone and paled.

**ALEXANDER AND ELIZABETH HAMILTON**

Could Alexander Hamilton be alive? According to London journalist Katherine Young, he is. Young, 26, visited America to see her lifelong friend Maria Reynolds. A conversation in Starbucks revealed the shocking truth: that the Burr-Hamilton duel was staged and the latter's death faked.

But there's more. Not too long ago, the Reynolds Pamphlet, written by Thomas Jefferson, revealed that Alexander Hamilton was cheating on his wife with Maria Reynolds. While Jefferson later admitted the Pamphlet was written with very little evidence. However, Young says that Reynolds herself told her that a Hamilton was indeed sleeping in her bed. Not Alexander, though. Elizabeth Hamilton.

That's right, Eliza Hamilton is apparently gay, as is Maria Reynolds. And Alexander knows and is perfectly fine. How will the American Congress react to this scandal? We'll soon find out...

 

John read the article over Alex's shoulder. "Damn," he breathed.

Washington stormed into the room. "What. The. Hell," he boomed, waving his own phone in the air. "Alexander. I thought we weren't going to tell anyone you were alive."

"I didn't tell anyone," Alex protested.

"It was me," came Maria's small voice. "I thought I could trust Kathy. She's been my best friend for years."

"It's _not_ your fault," Eliza insisted.

Washington sat between John and Alex, ignoring John's squeak of protest. "Great. Now the public knows Hamilton is alive. They know his wife is gay. It's only a matter of time before they figure out I'm hiring gays to work for me."

"Bi," Alex corrected him.

"On the bright side, this would be a huge victory for the LGBT+ community," John pointed out. Washington stared at him in disbelief.

"Are you saying somebody here is trans?"

"No. But Peggy is asexual and Laf is non-binary."

"Our circle of friends is very screwy," Lafayette agreed.

John looked past Washington and caught his boyfriend's eye. Alex smiled and shrugged. John smiled back. No matter what happened next, they'd go through it together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact no one cares about. In a Time Travel AU I made up, there is a girl named Karina Young who is based after me. If I combine my Time Travel AU with an AU where the Hamilsquad is evil, Karina becomes pretty much who Katherine is. I just changed the name because Karina isn't common.
> 
> Another fun fact no one cares about. For some reason, unless something leads me to believe otherwise, I assume all fanfic writers are male. I don't know why. So when talking about supporters my default is masculine pronouns. What makes this fact weirder is I am female. Tbh I do prefer hanging around boys. They're usually funnier and more supportive in my experience.
> 
> One more so called fun fact. spadesoface was in a dream I had last night. I checked my AO3 account and she had said something I can't remember but it implied that she thought I was a boy. I commented back that "thanks! btw I am actually a girl" and then she wrote back "O.O" and then there was an explosion and sirens and French ducks started wubbing. Idk. I'm tired.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out my other Hamilton story, Betrayal! It's a very happy story. Or a sad story... you choose.

To: A. Schuyler, M. Schuyler  
From: A. Hamilton  
Subject: Your sister

My dearest, Angelica (and Peggy),

I understand that you're an ocean away, so I just wanted to let you know that if you keep up with the news you will hear some interesting things. But don't worry, we've got it under control. Oh! Also, John and I started dating a few weeks ago! ;D

-Your favorite brother-in-law

 

To: A. Hamilton  
From: A. Schuyler  
Re: Your sister

Yay!!! Congrats to the both of you!!! And yes, I did read the news. The only reason I haven't been arrested for the attempted murder of Katherine Young is the fact that I trust you to keep the situation under control. <3 Angelica.

 

To: A. Hamilton  
From: M. Schuyler  
Re: Your sister 

I'm not worried. You got this! I'll be checking the news for updates, so don't screw up!

 

"Alex, I'm home," John sang, opening the door. The two of them had moved into John's apartment together, as living together had been easier for the both of them. "...Alex?"  
John looked at Alex's desk, and sure enough, there was a yellow Post-It on it.

John ~ working late tonight. Dinner's in the fridge. The press is after Eliza + Maria so I told Eliza she could crash here. She was passed out on my bed last I checked. XOXO Alex

"John!" a voice cried. John tore his eyes from the note just in time to be tackled by the middle Schuyler sister. "John, hi! How are you? It's been so long!"

John laughed. "It's been two days," he said. Eliza squinted, trying to remember. 

"Really? Huh."

"Where's Maria?" John asked. 

Eliza's face fell. "Oh. She's staying with her brother, James."

"I see." They stood in silence for a moment.

"I'm making dinner," Eliza said finally. John raised his eyebrows. "Um. I made pizza. I didn't know what you'd like. I figured you can't go wrong with pizza."

"You're right, you can't," John agreed. He made his way into the kitchen.

And screamed.

 

Eliza rushed into the kitchen. "John! Oh my god, John, are you o-" She stopped. John was fine. "John?"

John turned to face her, the biggest smile on his face. "THE PIZZA IS SHAPED LIKE A TURTLE," he squealed. Eliza laughed.

"Yes, well, I know you love turtles, so I made this for you. I'm guessing you like it?"

John nodded. "I want some of the shell. Please."

Eliza grinned. "Of course."

 

Alex was tired. Very, very tired. But he couldn't stop. He couldn't. One of his best friends and her girlfriend needed help. It was up to him. But a nap. Maybe a short nap would be-

No. Alex shook his head. He couldn't sleep. He couldn't. He had to write this speech. Had to make people think that Katrina person was wrong, that he really was dead. Was it Katrina? Maybe it was Katelynn. Karina. Kathy. Katherine! Yeah, Katherine. Whatever. 

Anyway. Alex had to clear Eliza's name. And Maria's. Because. If he didn't. If he didn't. If... If he...

Shit. He'd fallen asleep. Only two minutes. But still. He had to keep going. He had to. Because if he... What time was it? Only nine? Wow. It'd do Alex good to get some sleep. More than two measly minutes. 

Measly is a funny word. Reminded Alex of smallpox. Or mice. And freckles. Measly. Oatmeal, too. If you squint. Measly.

Focus, Alex. Stop getting distracted! _Knock, knock._ Alex jumped. Who is it? Oh wait. He didn't say that out loud. "Who is it?" There. Wait. Did he say that out loud? Maybe he should say it again.

"Alexander, are you still here?" That was Jefferson's voice. Right? Yeah, Jefferson. "Damn, boy, go to sleep."

He wants to. He can't. "I can't."

"You sound tired. Seriously, take a break."

"No."

"Yes. Do you need a ride home? Obviously. You'd fall asleep at the wheel."

"I'm good."

"Liar." Jefferson paused. Or maybe it was all in Alex's head. "Either you're tired as fuck, or you're super drunk. Either way, no driving for you. Why don't you ride home with me? I know where you live. Okay, that sounded creepy. Forget that last part."

"Mhm." Alex mumbled. He couldn't think. He tried to proofread. But his eyes jumped on the paper "No" Obviously "Liar" part "Mhm" But his eyes jumped on the paper before landing where they were supposed to. And sentences kept repeating. And sentences kept repeating. And sentences kept repeating. And sentences kept repeating. And sentences-

The door opened. Jefferson. Why won't he go away? Leave me alone. Was that out loud? Probably not. "Alexander." Jefferson said more than that. But Alex was too tired to listen. 

 

"Alexander," Thomas said. No response. Alexander's eyes were half-glazed. "Um, Alexander?" Again, nothing. Thomas sighed. He pulled out his phone to call a taxi. But wait, Alex was supposedly dead. He couldn't do that. But that London girl exposed him. Knowing Alex, he'd try to prove her wrong. Okay, no taxi.

Thomas could just leave Alexander. He _should_ just leave him. No, Thomas realized, he couldn't do that. Curse his kind heart. 

Thomas picked Alexander up, bridal-style, praying nobody would see. Praying Alexander wouldn't wake up. Oh, God, he'd better not wake up.

Alexander groaned as he shifted position, burying his face in Thomas' chest. Thomas sighed. Half of him wanted to drop Alexander. The other half of him won, though. 

Thomas made it to his car. He laid Alexander on the pavement and fumbled for his keys. He opened the passenger door and put Alexander in, buckling the seat belt and reclining the chair a bit. Then Thomas took his own spot at the steering wheel.

 

There was a knock at the door. "I'll get it," John yelled.

"I'm standing right next to you, you don't need to yell," Eliza said. John shrugged and raced to the door.

"Ugh, Jefferson."

"Why hello to you, too, Laurens." The other man mock-bowed. "Your boyfriend is in my car."

Boyfriend. John loved hearing that. "Why the hell is he there?"

"Because," Jefferson sneered, "he was staying up all damn night at that accursed computer of his. He probably would've died if it weren't for me. So, you're welcome. Now get him out of my car."

John rolled his eyes and pushed past Jefferson. Spotting the car was easy - it was the only one covered with bumper stickers about how great Jefferson and Democratic Republicans were. The car doors were unlocked, too, so John was easily able to reach his boyfriend.

Alex almost fell out of the car. John somehow managed to push him back up. A problem arose: how in the world was John supposed to get Alex to the apartment?

"Need help?" the mocking voice of Jefferson asked. He had finally caught up to the other man and was watching his internal struggle with a look of amusement on his face.

"No, I got it," John snapped, a little more harshly than he had intended. There was no way he was going to give Jefferson the satisfaction of knowing John couldn't take care of his own boyfriend. 

To John's surprise, Jefferson's face softened. "I'm sorry," he said, sounding (almost) sincere. "I didn't mean it like that. I just-" He stopped, aware that John wasn't listening. He was currently trying to pull Alex out of the car without killing himself. Jefferson stepped forward. "Let me help you," he said, pushing his way to Alex.

Alex made a small noise as he was moved. Once he was in Jefferson's arms, his brow furrowed, and he leaned into him as if for support. Jefferson whispered something to him that John couldn't make out, then started toward the apartment. "Lock my car, will ya?" Jefferson called over his shoulder.

John locked and slammed the car door shut, purposely rougher than he needed to. He couldn't help but feel a bit jealous of the way Alex just curled up against Jefferson.

John laughed bitterly... Jealous of Jefferson. Who would've thought?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am almost done with school. I'm taking finals...
> 
> Fuck school.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I thought Jefferson was actually gonna be a decent human being in this fic.
> 
> I was wrong.

As Thomas ascended the stairs (the stupid elevator wasn't working), he whispered to the sleeping Alexander. "You tell anyone I did this for you, and I fucking murder you." He knew Alexander couldn't hear him, but still.

And that turtle-loving Laurens boy had better not say anything either.

 

Alex woke up, expecting the hardness of his desk under his head.

Since when was his desk so soft?

Oh. Wait. It wasn't his desk... It was his bed. Wait. Bed? What...

Alex squinted, trying to remember the night before. He didn't drink. He would know - he'd be hungover. What did he do?

Last night slowly trickled in. Something about Jefferson. A fancy-ass car. 

John's voice. 

Where was John?

Alex looked to the right of him. John wasn't there. He slid out of bed and checked the couch. The kitchen. The bathroom.

Alex: John! Where are you?

No answer. Usually John answered within a minute.

Alex: John. John, please answer me!

A note on the refrigerator caught his eye.

Alex - sorry I'm not here. At the library, studying. Didn't want to wake you, but you da join me if you'd like. I left my phone on the counter. No distractions! XOXO John

Alex sighed. Yeah, John's phone was on the counter. Alex slung his backpack around one shoulder and pushed out the door.

 

"Hello?" Thomas picked up the phone on the second ring.

"Hello, Jefferson?" The voice was female. Thomas didn't recognize it. After a pause, the person on the other side sighed. "It's Katherine."

"Oh!" Thomas' eyes lit up with recognition. "Oh! Miss Young, how are you?"

"Doing fine. And you?"

"I read the report. Let me just say, Reynolds is pretty pissed with you right now." He laughed.

"Well, I can't imagine why," Katherine said, amused. "I put everything out, just like you said. Have any more news for me?"

"Yeah." Thomas chuckled again. "So, Hamilton is dating."

Katherine whistled. "His poor wife," she mused. "Oh, wait. She's got Maria."

"Yeah, I still can't believe you got Reynolds to tell you about that. Anyway, he's dating a man."

"Wow. What's his name?"

"John. John Laurens. Make sure you get that in. Also, I think Mulligan is dating Lafayette."

"Is he that French guy?"

"They. Guy or girl, yeah."

"Oh. Oops. They."

"That's it, for now."

"Goodbye, Anonymous Source."

Thomas chuckled. "Later, Katherine."

 

Aaron Burr wasn't the type to eavesdrop. But he heard the name "Young" and just had to. Young was the name of that girl who had betrayed Alex, right?

Aaron mentally kicked himself. He knew what he had to do now. He had to get involved.

Shit.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Um... So, not_the_sane_one got in trouble for writing fanfiction and, instead of posting it herself, asked me to log in and post it for her. So, enjoy the chapter. Ok bye!!!

"ALEX!"

Alex jumped. "Burr! Sir!" He scrambled up, shoving a bunch of papers under a discarded sweatshirt.

Aaron ignored it. "Um, Alexander, I-"

"Why'd you yell at me?"

"What?"

"You yelled at me," Alex said.

"Yeah, because I called you _eight times_ before that!"

Alex looked like he was going to argue, but he surprisingly kept his mouth shut, looking at the ground instead.

"Thomas is working with Young." No turning back now.  Alex's head snapped up. " _What?!_ "

Aaron nodded. "I overheard him talking on the phone. He was giving information to her."

"What did he say?"

Aaron hesitated. Maybe he shouldn't have gotten involved. He had only heard half of the conversation, after all.

Alex approached. "What. Did. He. Say?" he growled, desperately trying to mask the fear behind his eyes.

"Um..." Maybe Aaron should've just kept quiet.

"ANSWER ME!"

"Okay! Okay! Um, he said that you and John were dating!" No backing out now. Oh well.

Alex looked like he was going to murder somebody. "What were his exact words?"

Aaron had to think for a moment. "He said... He said, um, 'Hamilton is dating.' And then he responded to something Young said. Something about Maria. Then he said 'He's dating a man.' Young probably asked who or something because he paused and said 'John Laurens.' And then he said Hercules and Lafayette are possibly dating too."

Alex stared at him. "Shit," he said quietly. He stood abruptly, heading to the door. He turned at the last minute. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"Are you coming?"

"Where are you going?" "We need to warn the others." Alex said this as if it were obvious.

"Oh. Oh, yeah. Sure." Aaron tried to think of an excuse, but he couldn't. _That's what I get for not keeping my mouth shut,_ he thought glumly.

 

Lafayette was sitting statue-still. The only signs of life from them was breathing and blinking. Herc was running around the kitchen, repeating the F word at varying volumes. John had his face buried in a pillow.

"Mon dieu," Laf said quietly. There was a crash in the kitchen, followed by Herc's very loud "FUCK!" 

Alex paid no attention to Laf or Herc. He was focused on his boyfriend. "John?"

John looked up, tears staining his face. "I have to go," he managed, snatching his phone from the table.

"John, what-"

He rushed out of the room.

Thomas: hey um do you know where your bf is Thomas: bc I do  
Hams: What? He just ran out.  
Thomas: yeah I'm outside your apt  
Thomas: let me in

Alex glanced up from his phone. "Jefferson's here," he said. Laf brightened. "Uh, you do realize he's the one who got us into this mess, right?" he asked them.

"Oh, yeah."

Alex sighed and crossed the room. He opened the door.

"Yo," said Thomas.

Alex glared at him. "What do you want." It wasn't a question.

"So I have news. Um. Katherine - remember her? - is in town, and I might've, um." He looked around sheepishly.

"Told her me and John were dating? Yeah, we know. Fuck you, by the way."

Thomas laughed. "You wish." He cleared his throat. "Sorry. Just popped out. Anyway, look. I'm sorry, really. I shouldn't've done what I did. Ha. Shouldn't've. That's a weird word."

"Jefferson."

"Right. Um. I really am sorry. But there is a more pressing concern right now." He shoved a phone in Alex's face. It was John's. A text glowed on the screen, and it was Katherine's number.

Turtle: alright katherine. you, me. roof. now. you know where to find me {turtle emoji}{fish emoji}{skull emoji} we end this  
_seen 6:32 pm_

Alex looked up in alarm. "He's going to fight? Where is he? WHERE IS HE???"

"Sheesh! Calm down! Jeez. He's at the aquarium!" 

"We have to get there, fast."

"The question is, which aquarium? There are three near us."

 

John stood atop the New Jersey aquarium. It was out of the way, decently far from his home, so no one could stop him. It was 6:44 when Katherine appeared.

"Hello, Laurens. How's your boyfriend?" she greeted. John felt his blood boil. What happened next, he couldn't say. It happened so quickly. The last thing he remembered was when they both fell off the roof, headfirst, three stories below.

 

"Okay, he's not at this aquarium. Two mo-" Alex's phone buzzed. It was the police. "Oh, shit. What did John do?" He answered it.

"Hello, Alexander Hamilton?" a feminine voice asked. "Yeah, that's me." "You are the emergency contact for John Laurens, correct?"

Alex felt his stomach twist. "Yes..." "Please go to the hospital immediately," the other voice said, giving an address.

"Okay. Thank you." He hung up. "Change in plans, we're going here." He typed the new address into Google Maps. It was a New Jersey hospital, about fifteen minutes away.

The ride was in complete silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who else fucking hates Katherine raise your hand (raises hand)
> 
> In that case I have some great news. Spoiler alert: Katherine will die.
> 
> Spoiler alert: I swear John will not die


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I PROMISE JOHN WILL NOT DIE

By the time he arrived at the hospital, Alexander Hamilton was a complete wreck. His head reeled. "Is John going to live?" he yelled, flinging open the hospital doors.

He was shushed by a dozen people. "This is a hospital, sir. Keep your voice down," a nurse told him. "Who are you here for?"

"John. John Laurens."

The nurse checked her list. "Okay. Please follow me."

It was heart-wrenching. Nothing could've prepared Alex for this. John Laurens was hooked up to life support, in a coma.

"The young lady he was found with didn't survive," the nurse explained. "She was identified as Katherine Young."

Alex didn't give a shit about Katherine. "Is John going to make it?" he asked, his voice small. The nurse pursed her lips.

"Honestly? We don't know." She sounded uncertain. "If you want me to be honest... We don't expect a recovery. We can keep him on life support for three months, unless you want to cut it off sooner."

"No." Alex felt the tears in his eyes. "No. John's gonna live. He... he has to." He looked at the nurse. "He's my boyfriend. And that fact got him into this mess. It's also gonna get him out. I won't leave this hospital until he recovers."

The nurse started to protest, then changed her mind. "Okay."

 

"So how bad is it?" Thomas asked.

"Pretty bad. Mr Laurens is in a coma."

Thomas sucked in a breath. He hadn't meant for this to happen. "What about Young?"

"I'm sorry. We did everything we could."

"Dead?" The nurse nodded. _Serves her right,_ Thomas thought sourly. "Where's Alexander?"

"He refuses to leave Laurens' side."

Thomas would've laughed under different circumstances. "Will he survive?"

"We don't think so."

Guilt washed over Thomas like a tidal wave.

"Mr Hamilton is currently reciting _Hamlet_ as well as making up his own poetry."

Thomas turned and walked out. He wouldn't need to drive Hamilton home, he'd just need to bring him food and drink. He pulled out his phone to text the others the result.

He truly was sorry.

 

_Day One. My Dear Laurens:_

_You have had a terrible accident. I cannot bear to write the details, but long story short, you are in a coma. The doctors say you will probably not survive. We have to take you off life support in three months._

_I don't know if you will ever read this. But I hope you will. I miss you. I'm not leaving your side. I am relying on Jefferson to bring me food, though in all honesty I cannot eat. Please wake up._

_Your Loving Alexander_

 

The days go by in a blur.

 

_Month 2, Day Six. My Dear Laurens:_

_The doctors have declared you brain-dead. I refuse to believe so. They want to take you off life support. I remind them that they promised three full months. They reluctantly agree, but grow restless. Told Washington that the longer you are on, the more heartbreaking it will be when three months are up. Better to rip off the band-aid, they say. I say that if the band-aid doesn't come off on its own, it's not ready yet. The doctors respond with a weird look. I miss you. Please wake up._

_Your Loving Alexander_

 

Eventually even Alex's closest friends doubt that John will make it.

 

_Month 3, Day 4. My Dear Laurens:_

_Twenty six days. Twenty six days and they are taking you off life support. Twenty six days and I too will be taken off life support. My life support is you. If you die, you take me with you._

_I talk to you all the time. Can you hear me? I beg you to wake up. Wake up. For me. Please. Please. Wake up. I need you. I love you._

_Your Loving Alexander_

 

"How is Alexander?" is the thing Thomas hears most often now. Because Thomas visits him every day. Thomas brings food and drink and clothes. Thomas feels so bad, so guilty about what happened. He had thought it was just a chance to make money. But the harm he had caused wasn't worth all the money in the world. Tears prick his eyes, and Thomas wipes them away.

 

The ink is slightly blurred by tears. But Alex can't redo it.

_My Dear Laurens:_

_I love you so much. Time is up. They're taking it off. I'm so sorry. I didn't want this to happen. Please. My life will never be the same. If we could trade places, I would. I love you. I don't want you to go. But no brain activity has been recorded for eleven weeks. I love you. I love you. I love you._

_Yrs For Ever, Alexander_

 

"You wanna say goodbye?" the nurse gently asked Alex.

Alex nodded. "I go last," he rasped, cheeks streaked with tears.

Aaron, Herc, Laf, Eliza, Angelica, and Peggy keep their goodbyes short and sweet. James, Theo, and Maria say something about how they didn't know John that well but he still had a place in their hearts. Thomas gets misty eyed and says something Alex can't hear. Alex breaks down before he even opens his mouth.

 

Everything is black. John can't move, he can't speak. He's been trying to "wake up" for three months. He can't. He's not dead. Not brain dead. He knows he will be if life support is taken off. John is in a coma, and he's scaring everybody. That he knows. _Wake up!_ John urges himself. He can't.

"I didn't want this to... to happen," someone sniffled. Thomas Jefferson. John knows. John knows Thomas is sorry. John forgives him. Everyone is saying goodbye, so John knows his time is up. He gives up. He can't change it. He's tried. He accepts his death. But then Alex says...

"After the funeral, I'm going to kill myself."

"NO!" John tries to scream. "YOU CAN'T! I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH!"

 

"After the funeral," Alex declared, "I'm going to kill myself."

Everyone opened their mouths to protest. But someone beat them to it.

"No," a familiar voice mumbled. "You can't. I love you too much."

Everybody froze. Alex started crying. "J-John?" he choked.

"Mm, 'Xander," John groaned. His fingers twitched. Alex ran over and grabbed it. There's a pulse. He's breathing. He's alive. John's alive. His eyes squinted open.

"John!" Alex cried, sobbing. "John John John John JOHN!" He smothered the man with kisses. John weakly pushed him away, laughing.

Alex didn't care about anything else right then. His John was alive, and that was enough.


	13. EXPLANATION

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to break character, but I have a few FAQs I wanna answer before moving on.

**What is the relationship between Alex and Eliza?**

Technically none. They think of each other as a brother/sister. However Philip Schuyler doesn't approve of LGBTQ+ relationships and urges Eliza to get married. Unbeknownst to him, Eliza is a lesbian. She is "out" to everyone but her father. Alex, who is bi, agrees to fake a marriage with her to please her father. Really, though, Alex is with John and Eliza is with Maria.

**Where does everyone stand, sexuality related?**

Gay/Lesbian: John Laurens, Maria Reynold, Eliza Schuyler, James Madison

Bisexual: Alex Hamilton, Hercules Mulligan, Thomas Jefferson

Straight: Angelica Schuyler, Aaron Burr

Non binary: Lafayette

Trans: none. If you want a character to be trans, let me know, I'll be more than happy to oblige! :)

Undecided: Peggy Schuyler. Choose a sexuality for her okay?

**What's up with the narrative style?**

The narrative is always third person, but leaning toward one specific character.

**What's up with the different text styles?**

I try to make everyone's texting styles different but this very hard! The only one that is "fixed" is Alex's, who always texts formally. I apologize for any and all inconveniences this may cause. Hopefully the texting name gives the person away!

Speaking of, I'm working on another fic in which Alex is either texting "Thomasshole" or "Jeffersonofabitch" please comment which you like more.

**Thomas seems nice at some points. Sometimes he's an ass. Where does he stand?**

Thomas is actually really nice. He is just a poor confused soul. He knows he is bi but he's not "out" yet. He likes James but has no idea what to do. Since Alex is so happy in a relationship, Thomas is jealous. He wants what Alex has, but is too stubborn to ask for help.

**Some things you say are contradicted in later chapters. Is there a reason for this?**

Keep in mind that I am making up this story as I go along, so if/when this happens, just ignore what has been said in the past. Unless the subject has been brought up multiple times before.

**If I have a suggestion, or if I want to privately contact you, what should I do?**

Unfortunately I cannot privately contact anyone at this point in time. You could however hit me with any and all suggestions. I'll see what I can or can't do. I promise to respond to all comments. If I haven't responded, I haven't seen it yet!

**Author's Note:**

> I will try to update every now and then. I don't know yet how this will play out, so I'm open to suggestions.


End file.
